It all starts with a phone call, which can then quickly result in a flurry of activity…something has happened with one of your aging parents and it’s now up to you or your siblings to address the situation. This can be compounded by the fact that your parents live in another state and you don’t have a record of all of their important documents, including any health or life insurance policies they might have in place. When most people get that call, deep down they know they have been living on borrowed time, and knew the day would come when they would have to actively step in, offer assistance and take control of the situation.
If you can do proactive planning ahead of time, you can put everyone involved in a better state of mind for the next time a new scenario arises. There is no overnight fix, as this can take place over a number of years while your parents are still living independently.
Here are the basics that should be covered with your parents now, and not in the distant future:
Health Status/Meds:
Gain a clear understanding of your parent’s current medical history. This conversation should not only cover any existing health issues, but also which medications they are taking and which doctors have been responsible for their care. Elderly people can often get confused with their medication routine, so it’s very important to establish if they are still capable of monitoring not only what medicine they are taking, but when they should be taking it each day. Depending on their health status and age, it’s also important to establish a health proxy which gives you legal rights to help determine future care and treatments.
Insurance Coverage:
Sit with your parents and gain a clear perspective on what coverages they have when it comes to health and other types of insurance policies. If you aren’t clear on what is currently being covered or feel additional coverage is needed, there are certified professionals who can walk you through how each plan works. At Conference Associates we are known for our dedication in helping people of all ages procure the right coverage for the stage of life they are at.
Here’s a handy checklist:
Healthcare Insurance
Disability Insurance
Medicare Supplement Insurance
Dental Insurance
Vision Insurance
Life Insurance
Bank Accounts:
Ideally you should gain dual control of their bank accounts so that you can periodically check that all is in order and that no fraud has taken place. You can also monitor if the funds that are presently available can adequately cover their monthly and long term cost of living.
Housing:
Do your parents own their home? Is it being properly maintained or is it time to hire a handyman or a cleaning service to lighten the load and prevent injuries that can occur if your parents try to take care of their lodgings by themselves. Do they own pets? Are they being properly fed and taken care of?
Transportation:
Unfortunately there comes a time when people are either hesitant to drive or are not able to due to sight issues. Being able to drive is a real issue that can involve many emotions since taking away someone’s driving privileges can also affect their feelings of independence. Remind your parents that Uber’s or taxi’s can be called. In some instances, hiring a regular driver for trips to the doctor or grocery store can be a safer solution. If there are cars that are no longer being driven, it might be time to sell them since taking that step will reduce insurance and maintenance costs.
If your parents still insist on living on their own, there are some steps that you can take to make sure that everyone involved stays comfortable with the current situation.
- Have a friend or neighbor check in frequently
- Hire a service to have someone come in to help with meal prep/light housekeeping
- Establish a contact list that is visibly displayed in the home in case help is needed right away
- Have a well established document available for an EMS worker or police in the event they are called to the home. This should include all meds and other applicable information in case of emergency.
There is no right or wrong answer or solution when it comes to dealing with aging parents. Every situation is different and you have to do what is feasible for you and everyone else involved. The more organized you can be ahead of time, the more confident you will feel when you get that next phone call.
